5 Paths to Evolve Through Grief

While it’s impossible to shield your children from the realities of loss, you can provide support as they navigate their grief. Every child experiences loss in some form, whether it’s the death of a close friend, the passing of a treasured pet, or the loss of a favorite item. Additionally, some may be facing challenging health problems or have witnessed the suffering of someone they love. Transitions, such as moving to a new house or school, can also instigate feelings of loss and grief.

So, how can you assist your children in their healing journey? Below are practical and motivational strategies categorized into five focus areas—spirit, heart, soul, body, and mind—to help them cope with their grief.

Each person’s grieving process is unique, but a key indicator of healthy grief in both children and adults is the ability to confront and articulate feelings of sadness, confusion, and anxiety. Encountering emotional pain can be daunting at any age, but fully engaging with grief is crucial for recovery. Engaging with pain involves allowing emotions to surface rather than pushing them down or ignoring them, and articulating even the most challenging emotions can help alleviate grief.

Spirit

A connection to a higher power can provide stability during turbulent times of grief. Faith often serves as a source of solace, tranquility, and optimism, even in the darkest moments.

Encourage your children to explore their spiritual beliefs and feelings. If discussing spirituality feels uncomfortable for you, find reliable individuals, literature, or resources that can support your children’s inquiries. Allow them to grieve in ways that resonate with their personal beliefs, even if their journey is difficult for you to comprehend.

Heart

“Sometimes, kids don’t feel comfortable discussing their problems with adults,” shared 10-year-old Jessie after experiencing a family loss. “But they need to express their emotions. It really helped to be around kids who understood what I was going through.”

Joining a grief support group provided Jessie with a sense of community, safety, and relief. Engaging in creative activities and sharing experiences became a space for comfort and alleviation of sadness.

Connecting your child with peers who are also experiencing loss can foster meaningful relationships beyond the family unit. This interaction helps reduce feelings of isolation, boost independence and self-esteem, and allows kids to express themselves in ways they might not feel comfortable doing at home.

Programs like Camp Kerry, a nonprofit focused on bereavement support, offer engaging activities designed to help children and families heal together with others who share similar experiences.

Soul

Although death brings an end to physical existence, it doesn’t have to sever emotional connections. Cherishing memories of people, pets, and places can be a therapeutic way to manage grief. Many children and adults find comfort in expressing their feelings through creative outlets like songwriting, storytelling, or artistic endeavors. These activities can help keep the spirit of a loved one alive.

“One family tradition we have is creating a memory lantern,” explains Dr. Heather Mohan, executive director of Camp Kerry Society. “Families talk about their lost loved ones and then personalize the lantern with photos, paint, glitter, and other materials. This lantern symbolizes their loved one, and the process can be as simple or intricate as the family desires.”

Such activities can easily be performed at home and incorporated into a meaningful healing ritual alongside family members.

Body

According to Mohan, “Children, especially preteens and teens, often don’t want to be seen as different from their peers.” They may resist the idea of openly mourning if it feels like it sets them apart. One prevalent challenge during grief is the feeling of solitude and disconnection.

Even teenagers who may not be drawn to grief groups or art therapy still require an emotional outlet. Engaging in group activities provides a sense of camaraderie and normalcy during trying times.

Consider involving your family in team sports or collaborative projects that align with your shared experiences. For instance, participating together in a charity walk or marathon to raise funds for a cause can be a constructive engagement.

This collective effort fosters a sense of community and empowers children to channel their feelings into meaningful outcomes. Additionally, physical activities boost the production of happiness-inducing hormones like endorphins and serotonin, contributing to improved mood.

Mind

Experiencing loss can feel surreal, as everything changes while life continues on with its usual pace. Families are still filled with obligations such as school, work, and daily routines. Grief can bring confusion, disorientation, and emotional fragility, leading some mourners to feel as though they are losing their minds.

It’s important to discuss the perplexing emotions associated with grief with your children. When you share your own thoughts and feelings, you grant them permission to open up as well. You may also learn about grieving customs from different cultures or compare funerals with celebrations of life as a way to further educate yourselves.

“Be transparent about your feelings and memories of those who have passed,” advises Mohan. “Let your children know that they aren’t responsible for taking care of you; you have your support system. Affirm that your family will navigate this journey together, helping one another to the best of your ability.”

While grieving processes vary among children, they are remarkably resilient. They possess an innate ability to overcome hardship and adapt, just as you do. Together, take time to journey through your grief, trusting that you and your family will emerge into a new chapter of life.